


Love Loses

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Character Study, M/M, i guess?, idk it's just doc psychoanalyzing jan for almost 2000 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Dating Jan was... interesting, to say the least.
Relationships: The Doctor/Jan Valentine
Kudos: 6





	Love Loses

When Doc first entered his relationship with Jan, he didn't have many expectations. It was Jan after all, the bar was absurdly low.

He essentially expected things to be the same as usual, except now Jan would start pestering him for sex on top of all the other things he insisted on doing to bother and get in Doc's way.

This wasn't horribly far from the truth, at least not at first. The first week or so of them dating, if you could call it that, was business as usual. Jan continued to show up to his lab, often unannounced and do everything he could to be disruptive and distracting. 

Actually, now he seemed to be showing up even more often. He seemed to think that being in a relationship meant he didn't need to grant Doc things like privacy or boundaries. Not that he was ever great with those things to begin with, but he somehow managed to get worse. Apparently, he actually had been trying to have some self control before, and Doc had been taking that for granted.

That wasn't to say it was _unbearable_ , not quite at least. It could have been a lot worse. Jan, at the very least knew the meaning of the word 'no'. If Doc, in complete seriousness, told him to stop something, then he would. He would get mad about it, whine like a child, and rush to find something else he could do to get on Doc's nerves, but he would have the courtesy to listen. 

Honestly, sometimes Doc wondered why he'd agreed to this. Jan had been the one to suggest it, and looking back he'd probably been joking about it, but it was hard to tell with Jan sometimes. Everything that came out of his mouth was ridiculous, how was anyone meant to keep track of what he was and wasn't being sincere about? 

It wasn't like whether he'd been joking mattered in the long run, though. Either way, the results were the same. Besides, there must have been some truth to his offer, otherwise he would have reacted negatively when Doc accepted him. 

Regardless, sometimes Doc was tempted to go back on his word and just call this whole thing off. Spending time with Jan had already been something he didn't normally enjoy, and it seemed like all this was accomplishing was making him even more familiar with _why_ he didn't like being around Jan. Not to mention all the work he was falling behind on because of the frequent interruptions. There were few things he hated more than failing to be productive, in fact that was probably his biggest problem Jan's presence in general.

Despite that, he couldn't quite find it in him to break things off. Not out of affection, at least he didn't think so, if that was a factor then it was certainly a lesser one. No, the primary reason he ended up staying with Jan was curiosity.

There were things he didn't know about Jan. He knew that Jan was loud, and obnoxious, and wasn't what most people would call smart. Aside from that, Doc realized he was essentially in the dark. It hadn't even occurred to him that there was more to know until Jan had started letting other aspects of himself slip.

The first thing Doc learned was that Jan was extremely clingy. Clingy enough that if this trait extended to familial relationships, then it really was a wonder that the older Valentine hadn't snapped yet.

To be fair, he'd kind of already known this, but he hadn't been aware of the full extent of it. He couldn't even leave Jan alone for two days without the young vampire practically, and sometimes literally, throwing himself at Doc. He was a lot like a dog when its owner was gone for a few hours.

If Doc requested some space or alone time, Jan seemed to take personal offense. He would ask what he did wrong, and ask what he could do to make it up to Doc. He would usually end up listing a variety of sexual favors he'd be willing to preform to make Doc "like him again".

At first, Doc couldn't see this as anything but Jan being dramatic. Just more whining because he didn't get the attention he'd wanted.

He only started to doubt this when he noticed how... desperate Jan seemed whenever this happened. Now, Jan being desperate wasn't anything new, but this was different. While Jan was willing to do a lot to convince Doc to sleep with him, never before these instances had he ever begged or pleaded. It hadn't seemed strange in the moment, it had seemed completely in character for something Jan _would_ do.

It wasn't until Doc was thinking about it later that he realized some of the smaller details of the situation. Like how Jan's hands shook as they clung to him, or how he refused to look Doc in the eye. 

He really wasn't sure what conclusions he was supposed to draw after reflecting on this. There were a few things it could mean, but he didn't have concrete proof for any one theory. And it wasn't like he could just talk to Jan about this. Even when Doc wasn't prying into potentially very personal matters, Jan was never up front about his emotions. 

The only thing to really be done was to leave it, at least for now. He decided to conclude that maybe there really was a reason Jan acted the way he did, and leave it at that. Whatever that reason happened to be, it wasn't his place to try and drag it out.

The second thing Doc noticed was that Jan didn't seem to understand how normal affection and intimacy worked. This took longer to figure out due to Doc not exactly being the affectionate type. Still, once it came up, it was glaringly obvious. 

Jan would take any show of physical affection as an invitation for sex. Even something as small as hand holding was enough to get him excited. 

When Doc explained that, no, that wasn't what he was doing meant, Jan seemed genuinely confused. He would ask why Doc bothered touching him in the first place if he wasn't getting anything out of it.

Despite saying this, Doc noted that Jan very rarely pulled away or turned down the offers of closeness. He would let them happen and go quiet, staring curiously at Doc, as if he were trying to figure something out.

If he were caught staring he would quickly look away, throwing out a halfhearted threat before changing the subject to something suitably ridiculous in an attempt to distract from how flustered he was. 

Something Jan handled a lot better was compliments. He'd usually accept them with a smirk and as much grace as he was capable of.

It wasn't easy, but there were times where compliments would catch him off guard. He'd try to play it off like he normally did, acting confident and unaffected. It was easy enough to see through, though. He'd let out a few quiet, nervous chuckles and his smile would seem a touch too genuine for the act to be believable.

It was rare for Doc to think of anything Jan did as "cute", but this was one of the few things on that list. Sometimes Doc was tempted to let him know that he was being cute, he had a feeling the reaction he'd get would be pretty great. But, knowing Jan, there was also a chance he'd treat it as more of an accusation than a compliment, not wanting extra attention drawn to himself when he's already embarrassed.

Doc found that it was easier to get to Jan through praise of his personality or actions rather than his looks. If Jan was called handsome or something of the sort, it would essentially just be feeding his ego, he already knew that he looked great and loved having others confirm it for him. However, if Doc said he was doing a good job at something, or told him that he liked his company, he'd be a bit of a mess.

He also found that Jan hated pet names, or at least seemed to. If one was directed at him, he'd pretend to gag, and proceed to call it "gay" or "disgusting". It was... kind of hilarious actually. It almost made Doc wish he were the type to use pet names more often.

Aside from these details, there wasn't much Doc knew for sure about Jan. He could maybe infer some things from Jan's behavior, but he couldn't treat any of these guesses as fact. Not yet, at least.

Doc found himself surprised at how much he was enjoying learning more about Jan. At first, it had just been a small thing, he'd been treating it like a side project. It had been a sort of consolation prize for him, if he had to be around Jan so much, then it was something positive he'd be able to get out of it.

The more time he spent on it though, the more fun it was. It became less of a side project, and their relationship became more like a full time experiment for him. One that was proving to be unexpectedly successful. He found himself really looking forward to finding out what more information Jan would unwittingly divulge to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write romance w/ Jan okay, I felt like it would be cute. I specifically wanted to write him with a dude though, so I could use this title, because I think I'm very funny   
> I could've just written him with like a male reader, but I have 0 legitimate experience w/ x readers, so it had to be someone from canon, and Doc was the only one that I felt like worked


End file.
